I woke up when my alarm went off, Got new shoes, made a really good friend really happy, and kicked ass at school!
I finally got some sw33t shoes dis morning and they fit GR8. And what a deal at $59! School flew by today. We started welding T-Joints today, and they are way fun. In case you were wondering, they look like THIS: +. I also got a gigantic fucking burger for lunch, and it vas delicious. Then after school, we went to Taco Bell. I only got a freeze thing since I wasn’t hungry, but it was good.
Now I’m off to take a shower, since I haven’t for 4 days XP
Hopefully the last half of the day goes as good as the first half!
I guess thinks are never as bad as they seem. You think I would learn this after it’s happened THIS MANY TIMES. Oh well things should be fine now.
I’m getting new shoes tomorrow! The pair I have right now I have had since January 2007! I’m gonna go to the skate shop down by the beach and look for some sweet Vans. My roommate is gonna try and get me a discount, since his uncle owns the store xD So hopefully tomorrow is a good day! School shouldn’t be too bad since we are welding different shit, instead of just running beads all day. This week needs to go swiftly!
I don’t know what it is about me. Maybe I’m sleep deprived. Maybe I’m just a desperate loser looking for a little bit of attention. Maybe I should stop putting every fiber of my being into things that aren’t guaranteed to last. Maybe there is nothing wrong at all, and its just in my head. Maybe I think too much. <— That one is definitely true. These blogs sure tell me a lot about myself. Like how much I seem like a fucking psycho, riding an emotional roller coaster all in my own mind. I’m tired of this shit. I wish I could stop myself, but I can’t. I’m fighting a war against my own mind, and it’s winning. Sometimes i just need a little extra support and I really only want that from one person. I just want to get things worked out so I can be happy again. This problem can still be fixed. I just need a little help. I just need to get these issues resolved, before I blow them way out of proportion, which I think I already have.
Yeah. How hard is it? To take 5 maybe 10 minutes out of your day to talk to me? There is no way you can be THAT busy. I want to know whats up? What is the deal? Something is different and I want to know what happened. Anyways, sorry for tonight, but you dodging me all the time really got on my nerves and for some reason I got angry and I was just taking it out on you.
I’m going to try and probably fail to blog more often.
So we had a little party here last night, we played Beer Pong and I got drunk again. Several people came and went. The cheap table broke 3/4 of the way through the night. I can’t decide if I should drink more, or less. On one hand, if I drink more, I’ll raise my tolerance, and not be so crazy. On the other hand, if I drink less, well, I can’t think of any reason not too. Whatever, I’ll get used to it. Hopefully.
Of course. Things cant be solved that easily. I try to be happy, but something always holds me back. It could be so simple, but its not. Everything could be solved in 5 minutes, but you don’t have the time.You used to stay up till 3am just to talk to me, now you are even too busy to text me back, even if its just to let me know that you are busy. I just want to know, what changed? What happened that made you just casually stroll by and say “hey”, instead of proclaiming how you missed me, and how you couldn’t wait for me to come back? One week you tell me how you love me, and how you have only REALLY said that to 2 other people, and the next week you say you were never attached to me? I want to know how you really feel. And if you are just truly busy, then that’s fine. I’ll be waiting for you to be free, and my feelings won’t change.
I know I’m probably making something out of nothing. If this is true, prove I’m right.
so. I’m still extremely confused. Maybe this will help me feel better.
(whatever was supposed to be here, I deleted and re wrote over 10 times and I’m still not happy with it.)
I just really hope it’s not too late. I think I’m just having a man period. No other reason to explain these shitty emotions. October needs to be here NOW. I need to do what I’m meant to do. Only thing stopping me is 1300 miles. That shouldn’t make a difference.
During the 16th century, it was believed that each demon had more strength to accomplish his mission during a special month of the year. In this way, he and his assistants’ powers would work better during that month.
So we actually started welding yesterday and it was hot as fuck! Yesterday was just warm up shit, and today we start working on something to turn in. I still need to customize my welding leathers with the IAHC logo :D
October 8th can’t come fast enough! I’m looking forward to this more than i have ever looked forward to anything IN MY LIFE. I’ll be booking the flight this weekend. Its all i can think about, seeing you. All day every day! :*
well my family finally leaves tomorrow! Then i really will be on my own! i finally got ALMOST everything i need. whats left:
-and you! :]
I went to the zoo today, and it was fucking hot. I saw some 1337 animalz. we walked through about 40 different exhibits in the 90 degree heat. Sleeping in my apartment was pretty sweet, minus the FUCKING light on the building next door, which shines right in my window. IDK what i’m going to do tomorrow. i want to buy me a TV but i have to wait till one of my roommates goes to walmart.
And now, I’m listening to The Offspring, and waiting for you to get on!
I have my computer set up nao. Tonight is the first night i’m spending in my new apartment. Its pretty sweet. I got me some cool roommates!
Orientation was fucking boring today! all they did was yap at me about shit i already knew. it was 4 boring hours haha. I did find out that i can earn extra attendance by coming in on saturdays, so this owl city venture just might work! I don’t have a TV in my apartment yet, and i probably won’t for a few days. At least i have this to entertain me! I don’t start school till monday, and i still need to get half my shit! I need food, more supplies, and MORE FUCKING POSTERS. I got a webcam, so now i can beardface it up! If only i could figure it out…
And babe! I miss you! hurry up and get that webcam so i can see you! :]
When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home.
what an exhausting fucking day! so the day started off wonderfully, i love waking up to your texts. :] so i got up and went down to the beach and saw a bunch of goofy crabs :p came up, showered, went to lunch. i ate a mediocre steak at a resturaunt. Then we drove to the lighthouse, and it was closed. So we walked around in the jungle for a little bit. Then we got to do a little shopping. I got fucking tired. I was walking through the stores like a drunk zombie. I think all these late nights are starting to catch up with me. Then we played mini golf and i won! i also got a hole in one and won a free game.too bad we are leaving tomorrow.
we are heading to jacksonville tomorrow. I cant wait to get vacation crap over with!
and last but not least, i really miss you babe! hurry up and get your money so you can come see me! :] leaving you was the hardest part of leaving! i miss you more and more every day! every moment i speak to you, those are the happiest moments of my day. :] hope too see you asap! :]
well lots of discussion was had. And i have decided to stay. Sure it will be a big change, but I will get used to it. I know it will turn out alright. :] thank you. you really reassured me on everything. With careful planning everything should work out beautifully. :D Now i’m ready to move in! i cant wait to break in my new apartment and meet my roomates. Sure i’ll miss home, but i’ll be back soon. EVERYONE COME VISIT ME
time is running out. I have 2 days to left to make my decision. Will i give up everything for school or back out and come home? my whole family is down at the beach and i’m just sitting in bed in the motel room. And you know what? i don’t know if i will go down.
there are a lot of fucking waffle houses in georgia! finally got to the motel in macon, georgia, after getting stuck in traffic for 2 hours in kentucky. Left at 8 am got here at 11. I’m in eastern time now. Just want to get to florida to distract my mind. I’m still 4 hours away.
hahah i’m posting this from my new phone :] i had no chance to take a beardface pic today, but i’ll start soon i promise! we will probably stay in illinois tonight. We just ate arbys at I-80 and i stole some pop from the machine. It wasn’t that great xP now i’m hoping to sleep at least a little bit on the drive. hope to make it much farther tomorrow!
i can’t believe it. i cried for the first time tonight in months. this isn’t just like oh sad face. i have cried 5 (now 6) times since i was 12. everything hit me tonight as i was listening to Owl City (call me a fag if you want, i don’t fucking care.) and i realized what i’m leaving behind tomorrow. i know its only seven months and most things will be the same when i get back, but all the uncertainties are what kill me. What if things change for us? i know it sounds pathetic, for only knowing you a couple weeks, but i feel like we have something special, and i’m not ready for that to change. I will miss the music scene. i will miss my great and fucking hilarious friends. i will miss everything i have grown to love in the past few months about this town. I will miss my best friend, even though he is a complete asshole to me sometimes. I will miss doing stupid illegal things. But of course, I’ll miss you most of all Haley.
Tonight is my last night in town and yet here I am sitting on my ass in my room again. At least I get to see her tonight. I leave tomorrow in the afternoon. My mom said around 2 but I’ll see if I can do shit slow so i can stay JUST a little bit longer.